It has been about ten days without having a full night’s sleep. I am exhausted but trust I am going through another life shift, yet this one feels tectonic.
When I toss and turn in the dark, I recall events, mistakes and people that pop out of the crevices of my mind. It is like ‘life in review’. The stories are so intense, I have even wondered if I am preparing for death. Although that is certainly not my intention.
If I finally doze off, I dream about my cell phone, full of important contacts, melting and the numbers becoming invisible. Or I am slipping down an icy embankment into deep, dark water. Or I keep missing the transportation to some place I am supposed to go.
The result is a physical feeling of emptiness.
Luckily, I have had a light month of work. I am not getting anything, but the bare necessities, accomplished at home. When daylight returns, I sit quietly in meditation, then get up, stumble around, finally grabbing my camera and head out to see what the world has to offer. I am blessed with the beauty of this land.
My intention was to write about the paths we walk in life. Yet, I am committed to stay with the truth of the moment and this moment is all about depletion and mystery and fatigue. I trust it will lead me into a new aspect of life. Time will tell.
As I write this at 2:30 AM, I wonder if anyone else is experiencing sleepless nights? Is this new or familiar? What sense do you make of them?
I welcome your comments, either on the page or privately.
Stories & Pictures 
I am not sleeping well either, up at 4/430 and then clockwatching until I decide enough is enough and get up and make coffee.
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Sisters in Sleeplessness!
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I continue to be breathless each time I see your glorious photos! Thank you for sharing such beauty!
Thank you for continuing to be so present to what is given in the moment. I so identified with, “I was planning to write about the paths we are taking, but the moment is giving me depletion and mystery and fatigue.” I love your trust in the process. I also think that it is only when we dare to be in that “holy place of unknowing” that we come thru to what is being birthed on the other side.
Thank you, my beautiful prophetess friend! May you continue to lead us into the deep mystery and the deep beauty!
Much love,
Old friend Judy
Sent from my iPad
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Thank you, Judy. Your kind words inspire me to continue to write about the moment. It’s challenging and much easier to write a happy story. Love you
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