wondering

Posted on by Septuagenarian in Uncategorized

As I anticipate my trip back home, I have had many thoughts. The most prominent being about this being my last. I have felt as though I am in preparation for my physical death. I feel peaceful and ready for this transition/transformation, whenever it occurs.

First marriage

This morning, as I searched through old stuff in the cellar, I found my wedding photos, as well as the (first) marriage certificate. A friend and I had talked about the workshop we used to do called, The Fully Embodied Woman. This retreat allowed us to explore the different stages/aspects of a woman throughout her life. The first is, of course, The Child.

The second is, The Maiden.

The beginning……………….

The wedding photo I found was my maiden. She is full of innocence, about to enter the marriage archetype, having no idea what lies ahead for her.

Second marriage

As I gazed upon this image, a new thought pounced into my head: What if this trip is the end of my life-long search for the “why?” and the beginning of “how”?

The ‘why’ being, all the digging into my pain and mistakes to discover why I do what I do.

The ‘how’ being, with most of the new awareness/discoveries over, how can I enjoy the fruits of all that inner work?

What if I am embarking on ‘how’ to have true joy, curiosity, connectedness, and creativity with the precious time I have left?

Could this be the end of struggling and the beginning of wonder?

What if?

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Published by Septuagenarian

10 thoughts on “wondering”

  1. You are somethin’, E Lord. And May I say, you just get more adorable as you bring these pictures closer to the present. I don’t know when any of us are leaving, but I do know that I love it that you get to go see the place and the people. May you be peaceful and at ease on this trip.

    And, I’m just reminding myself that my brother was told he would die within 18 months about 21 years ago. He is still very much alive. You have a robust spirit, as he does.

    Enjoy your trip, my friend. I’ll be thinking about you.

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  3. Oh Elizabeth, It seems like you are taking this trip as an opportunity for a life review, integrating the memories and life-changing events from Child to Maiden to Crone. And now, with that gathered and years of inner work, there is so much ground to stand upon as you ask How can I enjoy the fruits, and What if? Yes! Much love, dear friend. Standing with you in the What if’s, Lynda.

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  4. Each of these photos… SO PRECIOUS! And finishing the post with “Could this be the end of struggling and the beginning of wonder?” I’ve always loved the phrase “Beginner’s Mind”. Each time I am able to remember this phrase, when my brain gets over the top, it returns me to WONDER! I love the feeling of being in a state of WONDER. Fresh, New, inquisitive, “What if ANYTHING could happen”? But truly, the one thing in this post that sent absolute DELIGHT down my spine, was the picture of the Chron with the Maiden flower ring! YES SISTER! YOU HAVE DEFIED THE AGE PARADIGM — YOU ARE FREE!

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  5. Hey, Elizabeth:

    The photo with the Pontiac resonates the 1970s in Oklahoma when we were fledglings in our careers and getting to know each other and our new Brittany puppy. What’s happening here with the trip back home?

    Stay well,

    Octogenerian [cid:image003.jpg@01D8A594.92806320] Bill Buchanan
    775 E. Blithedale Ave. #251
    Mill Valley, CA 94941
    (415) 823-2151 cell
    (415) 381-1003 work

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  6. Hi Bill(y) yes, you and Clive were there – the only people I still know from those years. I’m delighted you both are together and still loving Brittanys. The trip back home is a journey I need to make to complete something. I won’t know what until after.
    Hugs Elizabeth
    P.S. this whole ‘remembering’ happened because I had to have the original marriage license in order to get TSA pre-check and couldn’t find it.

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