why write?

Why do I continue to put myself out with this weblog?

At first, it was a vehicle for sharing my photographs.

As a kid, when I got a book, I always looked at the pictures first.  So, I thought “Stories & Pictures,” what’s not to like? In the beginning, it was enough for me.

However, also, when I was a kid, I was repeatedly told “Oh, you don’t really feel that way.” Consequently, much of my creativity over the years has been in service of revealing my inner world – as in “Yes, I really do feel that way and this is how it looks.”  

My artwork was frightening to some.

Yet, this has been a life-long imperative to uncover, beyond the dismissiveness, the depths of who I truly am. It feels like a lonely journey. Therefore, I am compelled to share the process in the hope that some readers might resonate with my experiences and join me.

When I received the lung diagnosis, it became abundantly clear how finite my life was. I had no more time to waste. I needed to plunge further into what I am made of.

A lot has been written about Vulnerability.

Brené Brown defines it as Courage.

Without being vulnerable, how can another truly know us?

To be known is our deepest desire and our deepest fear.

It definitely takes courage to reveal the parts of myself that are not appropriate in the system/culture in which I was raised and now live.

But I still, I have the desire to be understood.

The poet, David Whyte, when asked what it means to be human, responded:

“We are the only part of Creation that doesn’t actually have to show up. We get afraid of who we really are. We can temporarily put a mask over our face and pretend to be somebody else. Do this long enough and we can forget we were pretending and then become that.”

“No other part of Creation that can do that.  The rock is a rock; the mountain is a mountain, the fern is a fern, the hawk is a hawk, the horse is a horse.

A hawk doesn’t wake up one day and proclaim to the Universe, I am fed up with this whole business of being a hawk. Can I have a day as a crow, and just hang with my mates? Just be like them? They look so happy.”

“One of the healing qualities of the natural world for us humans is that it each being –

is just – being itself“

“One of the astonishing qualities of being human is the depth of our reluctance to actually be here. We get afraid of the way we are.

 There is a vulnerability in being fully here.”

(David Whyte)

So, I will continue on, risking my inner world and sharing my pictures.

When I need inspiration to keep going, there is always the natural world – just being its beautiful self – to remind me.