a walk in the woods

This story may be T.M.I. (too much information) but I have revealed so much of my inner world, what’s one more? Perhaps, one or two of you may relate.

I have been on a relatively high dose of an SSRI, antidepressant for 25 years. Three years ago, I began to slowly reduce the dosage. This past month, I am inching toward complete withdrawal.  The symptoms are no day at the beach! For me, they have included fatigue, darkness, inertia, and no hope of ever returning to happiness.

Today, I sense a lifting of the fog. So, peeking out of the darkness, it’s time for a walk in the woods. To reconnect with the joy I felt in August at my cousins’ farm in Berkshire.

The woods behind the house I grew up in were indistinguishable from those of the farm next door. On the journey back home, I visited those woods every day. It felt as though a magnet kept pulling me back to the sun sparkled depths.

As a kid, I spent hours beneath these trees. The earth is always spongy from the decomposing vegetation and ferns grow everywhere. The canopy is so dense that when the sun pokes through it is as though a magic flashlight is illuminating a spot in order to draw one’s attention.

My cousin, David is very knowledgeable of the flora and fauna on the land he and his wife are stewarding. He taught me about the different ferns and their qualities. They have beautiful names – Sensitive Ferns – Ostrich Ferns – Maidenhair Ferns – Christmas Ferns.

I am fairly certain wood sprites and elves live in these woods.

I believe they are especially drawn to the ferns.

Then there is simply the rich, fecund scent of a decaying white birch.

A Silver Birch and Hemlock growing old together,

sheltering a family of Evergreen Wood Ferns.

A reminder of the way in which a simple walk in Mother Earth’s woods

doth ‘restoreth my soul’.

I hope you spotted an elf or two.