What Now?  6/16/24

I find myself in a strange space. I have had a fine appointment with the pulmonologist in which he expressed astonishment (almost) at the results of my recent CT scan. This time, he began to use the words scar tissue interchangeably with inflammation. His previous diagnosis was ‘Interstitial Lung Disease, a medical umbrella term we use to cover diminished lung function. We don’t know what causes ILD and there is no cure. It is probably scar tissue that will continue to grow, but the only way to know what it is, is with surgery. We deflate the lung, do a biopsy in 3 places and reinflate it.’

My thought: 3 to 5 days in the hospital? just post Covid? for just an idea of what it might be?

NO WAY!

As my readers and friends know, I jumped into alternative medicine with both feet. Two years later, as I heard the doctor use the word inflammation instead of scar tissue, I heaved a sigh. All my dedication may have paid off. Without the ‘hit-by-a-bus option, my life will probably be longer than I imagined.

One would think an ecstatic celebration would have followed. Yet, while I was focused on the emotional and physical process of healing the lungs, my foot was busy developing arthritis and bone spurs. For the past year, I compensated by limping and watching the ground to keep from tripping.

The result: my physical alignment was skewed, the muscles lost strength and I slowly tottered around like an antique woman. Again, using alternative medicine, I have reduced the pain, enough to begin walking on the foot. I have found a wonderful PT woman who is helping me slowly rebuild the muscles needed to move correctly. I am learning to walk with 2 sticks for balance which allows me to look straight ahead and learn to trust my feet again.

I remember watching my mom as she got older, do what I used to judge as ‘giving up’. She stopped walking, swimming, yoga stretching, climbed into a wheelchair and never looked back. I understand now what may have motivated her. She was tired. She struggled emotionally her entire life and when her aging body broke down, all she wanted to do was to rest and be taken care of. (Today would have been her 99^th birthday- June 16^th.)

My life has not been as difficult as moms, and I’m not giving up, but I am tired.

So, amongst the all the whining, I have inserted images for you to enjoy.

Blessings, Elizabeth

P.S. This is our barn farrier and also the purveyor of free range, organic eggs from his 50 chickens. He makes me smile every time I see him. I had to include Jerry!