Story telling is fun but also challenging. After the initial creative impulse, I jot down my feelings and the story begins to take form. Choosing accompanying pictures is easy. When I live with what I’ve written, I soon realize there is something deeper going on. More writing. More editing.
Writing when I am stressed is very difficult. My body feels like it is draped by a heavy, damp, grey blanket that slips up and encases me without warning.
But I recognize my symptoms: trouble getting out of bed in the morning, feeling tired, eating comfort food, taking naps, ignoring the laundry and Netflicking; all in the foolish hope the darkness will magically disappear.
This is why I only write when I’m free of the heavy blanket and the dawn has returned.
But today I am in a dark time. It is something we don’t like to talk about. In greeting each other, when asked how we’re doing, the expected response is ‘I’m fine’ or ‘great’ or other positive adjectives.
I wonder if I’m alone in this rhythm of darkness and light. Surely not.
Do you ever have days when you are not fine? Am I the only one who has these hills and valleys?
What do you do? How do you cope?
There are many phrases designed to comfort.
“It’s always darkest before the dawn.”
“When everything goes against you, and
you feel as though you can’t hang on a minute longer, just wait, the tide will turn.”
“Without dark, you can’t know light.”
Do these work, when you repeat them to yourself?
Please tell me, how does it pass for you? How do you return to the light?
I await your wisdom and truth, dear reader.
Stories & Pictures 
This is a wonderful piece, Elizabeth, bringing the dark into the light while still in the dark! For me, that is probably the most significant way I meet it within myself: to acknowledge, to bring it into relationship (with myself as well as with others), to not judge, to know I am not alone in this…I love the accompaniment of photos with it and so appreciate the risk of sharing. My favorite phrase is “in this rhythm of darkness and light.” Rhythm. Yes. It speaks to movement, not being stuck. If I can remember I am in the middle of a rhythm, I know I’ll be OK. 💙 Lynda.
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Oh my goodness – thank you. It is so hard to remember not to judge it or myself. It is like a rhythm, ebb and flow, like the tides, like dusk and dawn. I forget we are, as human beings, all natural animal beings.
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So sorry you are in a gloomy place. Could it be political? Everyone I know is stressed and worried. Hoping that cloud will lift in a few weeks. Go spend time at the barn.
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Could be. It was a big risk for me to even publish this story and after I did, the gloom began to lift. Light at the end of the tunnel 🙂 Even in the fog, I’m heading to the barn right now 🙂
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For me, I have begun to be grateful for the darkness as a time to rest and replenish. The more I accept and sink into it, it becomes my friend rather than my adversary. Big hugs to you as we continue to travel together on this journey that encompasses both the darkness and the light.❤️❤️🙏😀
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Thank you, Judy, this descent was so extreme, it has been an enormous learning. I’m actually grateful for it and glad I had the guts to put it in a story. I believe from here on, it will be an opportunity to rest rather than try harder to ‘solve it!’ Your kind words to yourself and to me reminds me of a book I love called “Wintering” 🙂
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